Blackwood Academy and the Mitchell Family

11 Part Story 626 Reads 5 Votes
Paisley Myra By basketballbabe17 Updated 4 years ago
Sasha Bennett is searching for that perfect private high school in New York City. The problem is the perfect school is in Philadelphia. Her parents want her to stay in New York City, but she needs to convince them otherwise. Turns out, her parents have family friends in Philadelphia and they said she could move in with them. Great solution, right? She arrives to find that they have NINE gorgeous, should be model, boys! Living with them shouldn’t be hard right?
@basketballbabe17 In writing, no matter where the "good" part is, treat everything good. My last advice is to always broaden each subject or your audience won't like it.
@basketballbabe17 Sorry for my bad choice of words before. I think it sounded awkward, rather than choppy.
What I think you should do is make more description. Some of the sentences seemed choppy. Try reading the whole chapter out loud.