A New Beginning

A New Beginning

19.2K Reads 1.8K Votes 24 Part Story
Noreah Smith By NoreahSmith Updated Oct 23

This is a story about a young woman that has had enough and wants to start over again. It is a reverse harem.

Excerpt

In the beginning he who shall not be named was a great help but soon he treated me badly. Started hitting me. Not enough to bruise but painful none the less. He dated other women and told me as to hurt me but I could not leave. I felt bad and lonely so I stuck. Perhaps the reason of all this is because I was bullied since I was four years old. I had a low self-steem because of it. I still got attention from him and at times he was his old self. Giving me hope things would change for the better. I had hoped for 4,5 years. It never came. Two weeks ago I decided I had enough of it. I knew I had to be worth something right.

  • abuse
  • academy
  • beginagain
  • harem
  • morethanone
  • reverse
  • reverseharem
  • romance
XTipsyX XTipsyX Jun 19
I wouldn't go anywhere with a guy I didn't know. Much less 3 of them. So that part is a bit unbelievable. Maybe a better thought process on her side would be a good addition.
Annnddd it begins- random English lessons from yours truly ( sorry in advance, although hopefully it'll make your work sound more fluid and professional.... probably be boring though)
In the last sentence ( in order for it to flow better,etc,etc) when you first state that she's in the passenger seat, add the description of her sleeping ( ex: I pointed to the passenger seat where she was already sleeping) before continuing with the conversation
The second sentence is repetitive when read with the third ( it  re-states the same idea in a way that is unnecessary ). Also, in the third sentence I would change them both to either "could" or "can". In the last sentence "a bit" and "a while" are repetitive
12345ahmad 12345ahmad Aug 10
She opened the door in the middle of the night to a stranger???😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
jess_u_up jess_u_up Jul 25
I know this is dumb, but right away I was like "haha, a walker and a Ryder. Both forms of transport 😂" I'm a nerd, ignore me. ☺️