Secrets

Secrets

263 Reads 6 Votes 3 Part Story
Melissa By melisaince Updated Aug 20, 2011

Taylor Harolds is a girl who has time for everything. Her friends, her family, her school activities,and a lot more... She is not the center of the universe, yet. She meets a hot guy that goes to her school after a party disaster and things change for her in every way...

anakelia anakelia Dec 27, 2010
Again its too fast paced, work on your detailing and getting it all to flow from one paragraph to the other. Either way you have a great idea and i hope you keep going with this. :D
melisaince melisaince Dec 21, 2010
@CanWePretend trust me i am really trying to work on it you could say the only thing i'm missing is detail part
                              but i'm learning so hopefully i will become a better writer with all of your feedbacks (sorry if i made a mistake here)
melisaince melisaince Dec 21, 2010
@karebear17 thank you for voting the reason of errors is because i'm still learning to speak and write in English but thanks for the feedback it means alot
CanWePretend CanWePretend Dec 21, 2010
I really liked this actually! I think you should work on the layout a little, like adding a couple more paragraphs, but otehr than that I thought it was awesome!! 
karebear17 karebear17 Dec 21, 2010
its very intriguing and i like it a lot. i believe that you have a lot of potential so other than a few grammatical errors here and there i think that you have a great piece. KEEP UP THE AWESOMETASTICALFUNMAGICAL work. i am very excited to see more of you. i voted for you btw.