my first story

my first story

179 Reads 3 Votes 1 Part Story
O2oO2oO2o By O2oO2oO2o Updated Dec 06, 2010

This story is my first and I would love feedback :D

KadgeY KadgeY Jan 29, 2011
Also... If you take a new line every time someone speaks it makes it so much easier to keep track of who is talking. But yes. Great. :)
KadgeY KadgeY Jan 29, 2011
If you break it down into different parts it will give people a chance to comment on what they liked or disliked in certain parts, and will obtain you more votes. Just an idea but I read all the way through and loved it!
                              Really, really good. :]
paigemae23 paigemae23 Dec 07, 2010
I don't know what you are talking about when you said you cant write because half the wrting is in the story and your ideas are really good. The concept is really original and interesting. It is really good (I voted).xxx