Dolls - Love is for everyone

Dolls - Love is for everyone

49 Reads 1 Vote 1 Part Story
ReadMeSomemore By ReadMeSomemore Completed

Dolly is a doll who has never experienced anything in the whole three years that she has been created. But when she leaves the house, she starts to learn about so many new things. She discovers love for the first time.......but learning new things for Dolly can't always be good as the scientist, Dolly, Molly and Jake find out. A love story with a twist. X

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ReadMeSomemore ReadMeSomemore Dec 03, 2011
@SuperFishieJunior Yes sort of, thanks for the comments and I will keep that in mind when I write my next script. :)
MarineLynn MarineLynn Dec 03, 2011
@ReadMeSomemore A Sentence consists of a Subject and Predicate. A Subject is who or the character. The Predicate is what they are doing. What you have is mostly a predicate. And that doesn't make a full sentence. 
                              And Fragment is an incomplete sentence. 
                              Do you get me now?
Luv2readnwrite Luv2readnwrite Dec 03, 2011
This is really cute. I am imagining Barbie for some reason. I think its original but it lacks flow. I think its reallly good but you just have to be more discriptive :) . I love your work and I think your a talented writer. Your writting style and technic is engaging :)
ReadMeSomemore ReadMeSomemore Dec 03, 2011
@SuperFishieJunior I'm sorry I don't quite understand what you mean, could you give me an example please! :D
MarineLynn MarineLynn Dec 03, 2011
When the character is going to do something always have a full and complete sentence. I think with all the fragments, it looses the professionalism.