Not Safe For Work: A Heywood Jablowme Fiasco
This is the story of a rookie reporter, down and out, during The Great Recession.
Landing at porn's second best trade pub, Heywood Jablowme (not his real name) quickly discovers he fits in like fact checking at Fox News, after his first assignment, an obituary of a "titty-fucking legend," goes sideways. Determined not to let his career die before it can begin, Heywood tangles with Porn Valley's most desperate and depraved denizens in his quest to break a murder story that just might be his ticket back to serious journalism, where that kind of alliteration is frowned upon.
Of course, the murder of Johnny Toxic, porn's most hated performer-producer, is more than a little out of Heywood's league. But there are bigger problems. A shady homicide detective named Boyd doesn't want Heywood anywhere near his case. Mary Jane, the victim's last co-star and Heywood's best lead, seems more concerned about her own failing career, while Toxic's lawyer, a hard-partying dead ringer for William H. Macy, won't shut up about his client's legacy and "contributions" to adult entertainment.
Meanwhile, the jizz-biz chugs along. Heywood's boss, Sunny, who hates porn, is on his back for more stories to feed the website. Dean, the print editor, seems bent on sabotage, whenever he isn't on a dope break. And a mysterious publicist named Rachel has Heywood hemmed in at every turn.
So yeah, Heywood's odds of success are as long Ron Jeremy's dong. Thankfully, he has the unwavering support of his roommate, Miles, a porn-obsessed wannabe screenwriter who guarantees he can sell the film rights before Heywood is either fired for competence or done in by the killer.
This book is complete. I'm currently looking for an agent/publisher to help me take the story to a wider audience. BUT in the meantime, ENJOY the story. And please, don't forgot to vote. ALSO, please leave a comment -- I LOVE hearing from readers!