The Platfrom

The Platfrom

994 Reads 46 Votes 3 Part Story
Stefan By POP1234 Updated Jan 01, 2011

Your not that lucky when it comes to men.............It's New Years Eve and you meet a muscly hand crawling under the seats of one the last buses to London Paddington................the last train is seconds from departing or you spend News years in the waiting room snoozing on the smokey fabric, and a life time of hapiness is moments away from slipping from your fingers.......................................

brenda_22_g brenda_22_g Jan 28, 2010
agree with everyone!!!!!! with........ But i really think your story will turn out very good ! cannt wait for the next upload!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crazyrachie crazyrachie Jan 28, 2010
Yeah i agree with Bookworm 16. The dialogue got a little confusing, so just space it. But other than that i liked you. I loved the way you describe things.
bookworm16 bookworm16 Jan 28, 2010
Pretty good!!!!
                              Though I would suggest spacing out your dialogue..... It would make it easier to understand.....
                              Other then that great job!
lolita4u lolita4u Jan 27, 2010
it was pretty good hope you keep uploading so i can read the rest of the story  :D
vip_imane vip_imane Jan 27, 2010
Great start must agree with nikki conversation gets confussing here and there and one tiny grammar correction for you.
                              
                               see saw a family picture giving the happy family impression, but, with one girl sat in the 
                              
                              other than that great 
                              will be following you ;)
Abbie-marie Abbie-marie Jan 27, 2010
amazing, but i would say space it out, and make it a bit easier for the reader to understand whos talking other than that perfect xxx