Bunny Bop Hop

Bunny Bop Hop

20.6K Reads 1.8K Votes 22 Part Story
Mad Max By maxd01 Updated Aug 26, 2016

Bianca finds a human soldier as her mate.  Listen to their convoluted and amusing story.  He wakes up after an accident with a cute bunny girl next to him. Bianca finds that Jason is her mate and lead buck for their herd.

  • bunnies
  • humor
  • marines
  • mate-stories
  • parody-of
  • wattys2016
  • were-deer
  • were-rabbit
- - Jul 08, 2017
there was "a" storm approaching, also, why aren't you fixing your grammar errors? That comment is almost two months old and the error is still there
- - Jul 08, 2017
What does this person or helicopter look like that she sees? Also that first sentence is a mess.  It's flimsy and has bad punctuation.
- - Jul 08, 2017
oh also, left is relative, why wouldn't someone so in tune with nature use cardinal directions?
- - Jul 08, 2017
I feel like you could combine the first two sentences into one, less redundant sentence. Also you are using the word "eventually" a lot, which doesn't ever really need to be used in stories
- - Jul 08, 2017
You use the word "had" 5 times in the first 3 sentences. I suggest a rewrite. Also, I think you can just say "she heard the helicopter"
- - Jul 08, 2017
Is Larry the doctor? Is he a family member? This paragraph leaves a lot unanswered.