I kill people, and yes i know you think i am crazy but i am not. Just read the story and you will find out eventually.
There are a lot of sentences that start with she, so you should try and avoid that. Also there are a lot of conversations in this one little section and it kind of overwhelms the eye, but other than that it's good!
This is brilliant; it grabs your attention straight away - no messing about. You constantly create a sense of foreboding, which is good. You asked for constructive criticism, and the only thing is that maybe you could vary the sentence length a little bit? Apart from that, it's great :-)
@smaoineamh yea, i thought that i should expand it so i wrote a sequel to this because of popular demand and am currently in the process of writing it, and am close to the end..
This kind of makes me wonder about how some authors really are lol. Good plot to it, though.(:
Good Story!! The plot is very intriguing....can't wait to read what happens next...but yes like everyone I think adding little physical details, names will help make the story make more interesting...
P.S. Thanks for voting so quickly, do read the story if you have time & send me a feedback!
@23_cherry_23 Thank you for the amazing feedback! I will have to edit this really soon now that someone has given me specifics to edit :)