Murderer of the Night

3 Part Story 1.1K Reads 72 Votes
S.J. Rhodes By Friday13thx3 Completed
I kill people, and yes i know you think i am crazy but i am not. Just read the story and you will find out eventually.
There are a lot of sentences that start with she, so you should try and avoid that. Also there are a lot of conversations in this one little section and it kind of overwhelms the eye, but other than that it's good!
This is brilliant; it grabs your attention straight away - no messing about. You constantly create a sense of foreboding, which is good. You asked for constructive criticism, and the only thing is that maybe you could vary the sentence length a little bit? Apart from that, it's great :-)
This kind of makes me wonder about how some authors really are lol. Good plot to it, though.(:
Good Story!! The plot is very intriguing....can't wait to read what happens next...but yes like everyone I think adding little physical details, names will help make the story make more interesting...
                                    P.S. Thanks for voting so quickly, do read the story if you have time & send me a feedback!
I really like the style you wrote this in, but 1 thing, in the first bit of ur story too many of ur sentences started with "she" and then in the next bit too many started with "I" other than that it was amazing! ;)
this is really good I like how you wrote it from the killers perspective it gives you something different to read about and I really like it, its a great idea for a book(:
                                    keep writing!