Murderer of the Night

Murderer of the Night

3 Part Story 1.2K Reads 78 Votes
S.J. Rhodes By Friday13thx3 Completed

I kill people, and yes i know you think i am crazy but i am not. Just read the story and you will find out eventually.

There are a lot of sentences that start with she, so you should try and avoid that. Also there are a lot of conversations in this one little section and it kind of overwhelms the eye, but other than that it's good!
AStoryToBeTold AStoryToBeTold Nov 03, 2012 11:35PM
This is brilliant; it grabs your attention straight away - no messing about. You constantly create a sense of foreboding, which is good. You asked for constructive criticism, and the only thing is that maybe you could vary the sentence length a little bit? Apart from that, it's great :-)
Friday13thx3 Friday13thx3 Apr 03, 2012 11:03PM
@smaoineamh yea, i thought that i should expand it so i wrote a sequel to this because of popular demand and am currently in the process of writing it, and am close to the end..
KandiceJhn KandiceJhn Feb 24, 2012 01:27AM
This kind of makes me wonder about how some authors really are lol. Good plot to it, though.(:
Good Story!! The plot is very intriguing....can't wait to read what happens next...but yes like everyone I think adding little physical details, names will help make the story make more interesting...
                                    
                                    P.S. Thanks for voting so quickly, do read the story if you have time & send me a feedback!
Friday13thx3 Friday13thx3 Jan 15, 2012 08:42PM
@23_cherry_23 Thank you for the amazing feedback! I will have to edit this really soon now that someone has given me specifics to edit :)