Title: Anmon

3 Part Story 391 Reads 18 Votes
WhatSheRead By WhatSheRead Updated 4 years ago
In a world where Angels and Demons live together in peace, there shouldn't be many common hates. What if you were the outcast in this world? What would you do if you weren't Angel or Demon? What if you were something inbetween?
    This is Fallera. She is an outcast. She is not an Angel. She is not a Demon. She's something inbetween. She's... Anmon.
    
    "There's a monster lurking inside of me."
I was born in a world where Angels and Demons existed in their realm next that of the human world. *I was born in a world where Angels and Demons existed in their realm, next to that of the human world. (The end of this paragraph confuses me)
                                    
                                    I think you're using ellipsis (...) wrong, simply just say : My mother was an angel. My father was a demon. 
                                    
                                    "Becoming friends with a Demon is what the guardians told us lead to terrible consequences. I am always the, and only example of the 'terrible consequences." *Hmm, what are you trying to say here? And shouldn't 'guardians' be capitalized?
                                    
                                    "What they didn't want the Angels to know was the Jadzea introduced my Angel mother Elara to my Demon father Urik and they fell in love. *What they didn't want the Angels to know was that Jadzea introduced my Angel mother, Elara, to my Demon father, Urik, and they fell in love.
                                    
                                    "I have the urge to look up at rest my gaze upon those who taunt me." *I have the urge to look up and rest my gaze upon those who taunt me.
                                    
                                    'I have the power of the Angel and the Demon rest in the palm of my hands." *I have the power of the Angel and the Demon right in the palms of my hands.
                                    
                                    "Angel on my left, Demon on my right my neutral grey figure in the middle. *Angel on my left, Demon on my right, my neutral grey figure in the middle.
                                    
                                    "Now my Angel is trying to find a way inside but my Demon has already merged with my grey neutral form. *Now my Angel is trying to find a way inside, but my Demon has already merged with my grey neutral form.
                                    
                                    I resist the urge to circle my head back, burying in my lap with my hands clutched on my head forcing it to stay down. *I resist the urge to circle my head back, burying it in my lap with my hands clutched on my head, forcing it to stay down.
                                    
                                    ---
                                    
                                    Wow, this is quite an original concept, have never seen a thing like it, nice job! Really, amazing writing here as well as storytelling
I was born in a world where Angels and Demons existed in their realm next that of the human world. *I was born in a world where Angels and Demons existed in their realm, next to that of the human world. (The end of this paragraph confuses me)
                                    
                                    I think you're using ellipsis (...) wrong, simply just say : My mother was an angel. My father was a demon. 
                                    
                                    "Becoming friends with a Demon is what the guardians told us lead to terrible consequences. I am always the, and only example of the 'terrible consequences." *Hmm, what are you trying to say here? And shouldn't 'guardians' be capitalized?
                                    
                                    "What they didn't want the Angels to know was the Jadzea introduced my Angel mother Elara to my Demon father Urik and they fell in love. *What they didn't want the Angels to know was that Jadzea introduced my Angel mother, Elara, to my Demon father, Urik, and they fell in love.
                                    
                                    "I have the urge to look up at rest my gaze upon those who taunt me." *I have the urge to look up and rest my gaze upon those who taunt me.
                                    
                                    'I have the power of the Angel and the Demon rest in the palm of my hands." *I have the power of the Angel and the Demon right in the palms of my hands.
                                    
                                    "Angel on my left, Demon on my right my neutral grey figure in the middle. *Angel on my left, Demon on my right, my neutral grey figure in the middle.
                                    
                                    "Now my Angel is trying to find a way inside but my Demon has already merged with my grey neutral form. *Now my Angel is trying to find a way inside, but my Demon has already merged with my grey neutral form.
                                    
                                    I resist the urge to circle my head back, burying in my lap with my hands clutched on my head forcing it to stay down. *I resist the urge to circle my head back, burying it in my lap with my hands clutched on my head, forcing it to stay down.
                                    
                                    ---
                                    
                                    Wow, this is quite an original concept, have never seen a thing like it, nice job! Really, amazing writing here as well as storytelling
I was born in a world where Angels and Demons existed in their realm next that of the human world. *I was born in a world where Angels and Demons existed in their realm, next to that of the human world. (The end of this paragraph confuses me)
                                    
                                    I think you're using ellipsis (...) wrong, simply just say : My mother was an angel. My father was a demon. 
                                    
                                    "Becoming friends with a Demon is what the guardians told us lead to terrible consequences. I am always the, and only example of the 'terrible consequences." *Hmm, what are you trying to say here? And shouldn't 'guardians' be capitalized?
                                    
                                    "What they didn't want the Angels to know was the Jadzea introduced my Angel mother Elara to my Demon father Urik and they fell in love. *What they didn't want the Angels to know was that Jadzea introduced my Angel mother, Elara, to my Demon father, Urik, and they fell in love.
                                    
                                    "I have the urge to look up at rest my gaze upon those who taunt me." *I have the urge to look up and rest my gaze upon those who taunt me.
                                    
                                    'I have the power of the Angel and the Demon rest in the palm of my hands." *I have the power of the Angel and the Demon right in the palms of my hands.
                                    
                                    "Angel on my left, Demon on my right my neutral grey figure in the middle. *Angel on my left, Demon on my right, my neutral grey figure in the middle.
                                    
                                    "Now my Angel is trying to find a way inside but my Demon has already merged with my grey neutral form. *Now my Angel is trying to find a way inside, but my Demon has already merged with my grey neutral form.
                                    
                                    I resist the urge to circle my head back, burying in my lap with my hands clutched on my head forcing it to stay down. *I resist the urge to circle my head back, burying it in my lap with my hands clutched on my head, forcing it to stay down.
                                    
                                    ---
                                    
                                    Wow, this is quite an original concept, have never seen a thing like it, nice job! Really, amazing writing here as well as storytelling