(This book will include Suicidal thoughts/actions, use of alcohol, suicide, death, ect. If you are sensitive to any of these, you have been warned.) (Currently reediting this book) Jonathan, mostly known by his YouTube name h2odelirious, is a YouTuber who plays online games with his friends for a living. He is very mysterious, none of his friends ever seen his face besides his brotherly friend Luke. His friends hurt him. All their words dug into his mind and slowly drove him into depression. With depression, he found a way to calm himself down and to relieve his stress... After cutting for so long with no one finding out, besides his friend at the corner store, Peyton, who helps him through tough times, he is met with the biggest struggle of his life. When he was being hospitalized from being hit by a car, he notices something. His friends messaged him. And for this time, not asking for him to play with them. They actually felt guilty, like all of this was their fault. But one stuck out the most; Wildcat. He sent numerous messages, maybe too many in others opinions. He generally blamed himself. He told his friends if there was really someone to blame, it would be him. He could never forgive himself for the pain he had put his best friend, and future crush, through. When Tyler's feelings begin to pore out like a waterfall while watching delirious in the hospital while he got better, how could he hold back his love anymore? But one day, Tyler knew it would all end bad. He knew, deep down, nothing would ever be the same ever again. He knew, nothing could ever make up for what he did... "Everything I've done has been inflicted onto my life now, and is slowly turning me into a living monster. I can't do anything anymore, i can't even smile. I'm just so hated...and nothing can change that..."