He Came Back (NaNoWriMo 2011) ~completed xD~

17 Part Story 15.6K Reads 433 Votes
Allondra, Andaya, Abby, Aljen, Alyssa, Athessa By _allyondra_ Completed
Arianna Martin has a secret...
    She and her friends are training to be part of a gang. Apparently, girls were now allowed in it. And that just made Ari even more excited.
    But after two years, she stopped. What caused it, you asked? Well, it has a little something to do with the people in school.
    Enter Eric Smith: well-built, easy on the eyes, and very familiar. Yep, familiar. Ari and Eric have indeed met before but 'where' was the question.
    Read on as the two encounter an unsuspecting event and find out the reason on why He Came Back.
    cover by: kayalways
It was short, but sweet. :) I love the way you've portrayed everything. Good job.
Aww....do they really act this cute? I can SO relate!
                                    There was this boy back in first grade who was tres ADORABLE!!! I had a crush on him!!! Now he's my best friend!!
This prologue is really good! I stumbled on your profile when I was doing that shuffle thing up there. I could imagine cute little Eric because I have a friend who looks exactly like him! Well, at least in my mind anyway :D
I'm so insulted. Calling janna fat? That's me. JAN. So mean allondra :((((
Woah one week writing eh? I suggest you slow it down then. You have a good plot here don't get me wrong, and very excellent grammar. But some things that are rushed go at a faster paste. But this prologue was just fine. Be careful on your writing good luck(: 
I like how you wrote her. She was very convincingly childlike. Cute!