The Stars Call

The Stars Call

9.8K Reads 825 Votes 42 Part Story
Birdpaw By Birdpaw Completed

(The Stars Call is the first book in the series! The next book is The Blood Moon)
Wonderful cover by AmiraAshraf-
                                Was a featured story on Wattpad's featured list, and was long-listed for the Watty's2018!
               
                                
    After a long, arduous war between the Galactic Sanctum and the First Insurgency, the galaxy is at peace, or so it seems on the surface.
    In the underbelly and result of unending wars, a virus ravages across the span of the galaxy, destroying everything it touches - becoming known as a living nightmare, unable to stop it, the Sanctum has turned to mercenaries to solve it.
    Through the eyes of a group of mercenaries, employed by the Sanctum and tasked with researching the virus, faces a harsh truth about the people around them, along with a microscopic monster casting a large shadow. 
    It turns out humanity's destruction was always closer to home.

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As this is written, it sounds like Garrett is the one shuffling in place and clenching his hands. You might want to make it a little clearer that it's the lieutenant: 
                              
                              "The man..." OR "The boy shuffled in place..."
"Sector" should be capitalised here, for the sake of consistency.
To avoid the repetition of "flip/flipped", maybe try, "...watching it spin/twirl through the air."
burnedoubt burnedoubt Sep 23
 #RebelBC
                              
                              Perhaps, "[…] gravity landing it in his palm once again". I'm probably being nitpicky, but the world "bringing" seems to interrupt the flow a tad.
You might consider, "He inserted (the cigar) into the igniter..." 
                              
                              To avoid the repetition of "smoke", you might also consider: "(The tendrils) twirled and tangled with (themselves) as (they) disappeared into the air."
burnedoubt burnedoubt Sep 23
 #RebelBC
                              
                              Just for the sake of clarity, perhaps mention he's seeing his reflection in the first sentence. Reads a bit odd as it is.