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Emporté | Peter Quill ✔️

Emporté | Peter Quill ✔️

35.5K Reads 1.4K Votes 14 Part Story
sᴀʟᴛʏ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ By -idiosyncratic Completed

❝Cross her, and she'll kill you. She'll poison you, rip out your spine, shoot you, suffocate you, or decapitate you.❞

In which a bipolar bubblegum enthusiast meets star-lord, the oh so amazing man.

Emporté: fiery, impetuous

   They meet each other, if you count meet as Luna trying to kill Peter, then yes, they did meet and got along well. Kinda. Who knew that being in prison with each other would have change their entire lives forever?

Started: March 26, 2016
Finished: April 1, 2016
Edited: December 6, 2016

Rated mature: for use of profanity

- - Mar 28, 2016
Wow. This must be a pivotal moment for your character, try slowing down and describe the men.
- - Mar 28, 2016
Overall, I liked the action-packed start to your book. My one advice? Slow down so you can describe the setting and all the events that take place. What does the place feel like? Smell like? Look like? Sound like? Taste if you can. Nice job.
- - Mar 28, 2016
Hmm. Try a different word than thingy. It seems a bit out of place. Just say cliff.
- - Mar 28, 2016
I love the description, but try slowing down. You're giving readers a lot of seats old and it's hard to focus on all of them. Describe one of the actions and then choose the ones that fit best with it, some details are better left out.
- - Mar 28, 2016
Describe the tumbling motion. How does Starlord feel physically? Answer in your writing.