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The Prince And The Swan

The Prince And The Swan

24.6K Reads 1.4K Votes 22 Part Story
Elize-Remi By Elize-Remi Updated May 19

A re-telling of Swan Lake
(I actually do not know much about Swan Lake, this is based on my limited knowledge)

Thaiya never sees anyone other than her family, thanks to a family curse that leaves her a Swan during the day, and a human at night. She begins to realize that she doesn't really fit into the role of human... or the role of swan. What is she willing to do to fit in somewhere?

Prince Derek has, for the most part been happy with his life at Court. Hoever, that changes the day he meets his betrothed. Not happy. He doesn't think he could ever love her, so he leaves.

Two people, very different lives, meet one day. What happens when Derek begins to feel something for this stranger? Will he choose duty to the crown, or his heart?



~*~ Wonderful Cover by Kaiandersen ! ~*~

Comma after Lyana, otherwise it sounds like Lyana is the one cocking her head.
Since you say Mrs. with the period, I'm guessing you use American English. In which case, it's "Thaiya." and not "Thaiya".  I think 😂
No comma after almost gone since the part after the and is not a complete sentence or part of a 3+ list. Also, I don't know if I've said it later, but I don't think Lady should be capitalized with how it's being used. Could be wrong.
I think you forgot a quotation mark after the hyphen where Thaiya interrupts. Also, that after the hyphen should be a new sentence.
Pretty sure there should be a period between girl and she never
Cross-Warrior Cross-Warrior Jul 31, 2016
I feel like "grew up and covered her skin" felt awkward, especially given the pattern of the next two descriptions. Maybe her skin became feathered/feathers. It may take thinking a tiny bit more, but it doesn't jar the flow so badly.