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Because I Love You (WATTYS 2017)

Because I Love You (WATTYS 2017)

31.2K Reads 2.5K Votes 113 Part Story
Jedediah B. By Aaron_Ledgers Updated 6 hours ago

(Highest Ranking - #8 in Fantasy!!!!! ❤) -- Phil Heseroph wasn't exactly the best at being the boy-next-door. Grumpy, clumsy, and highly insecure with his life as a whole - he was the complete opposite of his girlfriend, a bubbly nerd named Ella. But like Yin and Yang, the two of them were inseparable... at least, until the day Ella died.
    
    That day, he was completely destroyed... and because of it, he killed himself.
    
    But instead of finding his much-expected peace in the afterlife, Phil somehow found himself very much alive on a parallel world called Atlas as an almost monstrous-looking version of himself and immediately came face to face with another version of his dead girlfriend.
    
    There are only three problems.
    
    They never met in this new reality, the timeline of the world around them is more medieval than modern, and she just so happens to think he's an evil monster hell-bent on killing her. 
    
    Trapped in the kingdom of Aerika, a bizarre place chock full of things like magic, elves, orcs, demons, faeries, squirrel-riding women, assassins, a tyrannical hierarchy, and everything else under the sun, Xaphile finds himself very confused and depressed.
    
    Is this his own, personal hell?
    
    Or is it a second chance?
    
    And if it is a second chance... does he even want to take it?
    
    (TRAILER INSIDE)
    
    Copyright © by Aaron Ledgers. All rights reserved.

Tima_R Tima_R Jun 09
 #LC
                              Immediately into the story and the action
                               Very well written, good length for a prologue, vivid descriptions. The quick pace was good, keeping the readers in the story. Great!
JaxonBlacc JaxonBlacc May 16
 #Dreamland
                              Nice start. I assume this is a backstory. I liked the mystery of the woman. I don't think you mentioned her name even once (If you did then I forgot). The writing was clean, and straight forward. I hope to see more of the gods in this world of yours.
This is so intriguing and you've left me hungry for more! Great start, man!
Andicook Andicook Feb 10
Great prologue. It's hooked me immediately. Very dramatic. I'm not sure why it's in italics, though.
 #Dreamland
                              
                              I actually found this quite enjoyable and overall I managed every little detail, from the tree falling, to the rocks that fell from the cliff. Now this is a prologue that makes you want to know what happened and pulls you into the story.
Wow, this was a great beginning! I feel bad for the poor girl. There are no mistakes in grammar or spelling, and I loved how you described everything. Well done! 😀