Daddy!?!?

Daddy!?!?

49.4K Reads 621 Votes 10 Part Story
ABDL4EVA By ABDL4EVA Updated Mar 27

My story is about 14 yr old, Mackenzie getting kidnapped by a guy named Jack, and Jack puts
 Mackenzie in a diaper to give her the child hood she never had, because her mom and dad died in a car accident and she was an only child, so she lived all by herself in a house without locks on them until later that one day! ;)

lilybean333 lilybean333 Sep 10
And and and and and and and and and and and and and.... You could just said you put the diaper on her.
Not meaning to hate here, this idea is great, but maybe try to make more sentences instead of putting the word "and"
I really think that your book could be a lot better is you slowed it down a bit and explain things like how she's feeling and just things like that :)
I-Am-Jess I-Am-Jess Sep 27
Dear god run on sentence.  If you aren't going to make more sentences at least use commas my god!
Aspenshit Aspenshit Sep 18
All these ands are making me cry and jump off a roof and I need bleach and now I'm hungry and now I'm downstairs and now I'm eating and now I'm not hungry and now I need to the bathroom and I used the bathroom and I'm tired and I'm sleeping and I'm DEAD.