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The Truth About Delcan | ✓

The Truth About Delcan | ✓

15.7K Reads 1.1K Votes 19 Part Story
샤 미니 By struckby_lightning Completed

One night . One call . One dead .
  Lilly gets a call from Delcan telling her to save him. The only problem is Delcan has been dead for two weeks now.

therose1523 therose1523 Apr 30, 2016
I love the suspense!
                              Short, but sweet. I like that about a book. 
                              questions, questions, questions. What happened to Declan? If he's dead how did he remember Lilly's number? 
                              so many things that I wouldn't doubt will be answered in later chapters. 
                              I can't wait to read more!
just_other_gay_boy just_other_gay_boy Dec 31, 2016
Generally, I hate the suspense, but, in this case, I liked it
vampire_angelz vampire_angelz May 09, 2016
 #oceanbookclub I really like the suspense and the fact that u hv mostly used dialogues and kept it short and simple... it has made me feel really interested and now I really want to read more....
Addie_Belle Addie_Belle Apr 05, 2016
I'm really into this prelude. The mystery it leaves is beyond great.
SallyMason1 SallyMason1 Mar 21, 2016
Third line: "the voice sound(s)"
                              You also have twice sounds for such a short chapter, maybe try to vary a little and remember show v. tell: "He's panting" "His breath is rapid"... Something like this brings across the same message, but stays away from the traditional tell verbs.
SallyMason1 SallyMason1 Mar 20, 2016
Interesting start. Looking forward to the backstory.
                              I saw a couple of mistakes, not sure if you wanted me to point those  out :)