Unkarra Gate (1st draft)

Unkarra Gate (1st draft)

6.5K Reads 1.4K Votes 97 Part Story
Marc By Marclh Completed

Ezara ran for her life, escaping the destruction of her home. As well, the responsibility to protect a group of the village children was thrust upon her, and her only hope was an old recluse she had always been told to avoid. 

The last thing this recluse, Bogrel, wanted was to rescue a bunch of children. But in doing so, he might find redemption for his bloody past, and find salvation for his homeland. 

Their flight from their pursuer, a young, ambitious Lord who is fueled by an ancient evil, takes them across the known world. But running proves futile, as they are drawn back into the endless violence they tried to leave behind, and will end up changing the course of the history.

  • action
  • fantasy
  • geberra
  • goldmedallion
  • highfantasy
  • thefaefolk
  • thirdperson
  • unkarra
  • vampire
xDRAG0N0VAx xDRAG0N0VAx Apr 16, 2018
Yes, human interactions are tedious. :)
                              I'm with tek here. The alliterations were a bit distracting.
RLM915 RLM915 Apr 17, 2018
I like your opening. It’s straightforward, relatable, and interesting all at once. :)
RLM915 RLM915 Apr 17, 2018
Good job awakening intrigue and mystery with the footprints here at the beginning. I’m already curious to see what’s up :)
Kdaneth Kdaneth Jul 01, 2018
“...as he reached out to moved” 
                              Does not make sense. Please correct.
IsaiahLeIstya IsaiahLeIstya Jul 25, 2018
@Marcih I can't help but be reminded of Robert Frost's Road Less Traveled. Am I the only one?
EvelynHail EvelynHail Jul 28, 2018
I am still not on board with us not knowing who the protagonist of this POV is. It slows down the writing process. On the other hand, the introduction of how the character feels, his loneliness and thirst are on point and mark the beginning of the reader emphatizing with him.