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Falling for your worst enemy

Falling for your worst enemy

190 Reads 7 Votes 4 Part Story
Denise Hemingway By denise21794 Updated Dec 14, 2010

this is a story about a girl named Denise Hemingway who is 16 years old and goes to Clavery high the school for vampires....yes she's a vampire and she has a sworn enemy named Zack brown...she soon falls for him and she falls a little fast[ if you ask me] after her meeting in the locker room with Zack and her ex boyfriend Demitre Johnson [ the ass of the world] will things for her finally change will she live a normal vampire life or will demitre keep butting his ugly head into to find out please!!!!

denise21794 denise21794 Jun 24, 2011
@onelifeliveit  cool, no harm done it didnt hurt my feelings it actually made me think about it more than i have...thats why i havent added a new chapter yet, but you advice was AWESOME! thanks oh so much :)
onelifeliveit onelifeliveit Jun 24, 2011
I think the storyline is pretty good but you use "..." too much. The capitalization needs a little improvement, and it is a little cliche and obvious what is going to happen. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but that's my opnion of the story. Keep writing(: