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Marlowe's Massacre

Marlowe's Massacre

10.7K Reads 263 Votes 4 Part Story
Taysley By The_overthinker22 Updated Feb 11

"God, send us all of your sins with high expectations." 

When Marlowe committed suicide, he left behind sadness, fear, and problems that were left unsolved and covered with doubt. His beloved ones are stumbled to why he did it and why Teddy, one of the coastal guards didn't save him. After all, Teddy was the one with him when he did the deed.

Then, there is Marlowe's twin brother.

Things go down as Marlin struggles to cope with losing his other half, something he thought he'd never lose. He begins to fall hard out of his content and incisive self into something he can't no longer hide. When Teddy meets Marlin, the boy she didn't want to face and the girl who seen his brother drown. 

A rage of emotions break through. Emotions they thought they lost right after Marlowe's death.

But with suspension rising and friends dropping like flies, everyone's fingers point back to the person lurking in the shadows.

The very first person to get Marlowe the exact way he was...

{UNDER SLOW GRAMMAR AND DETAIL PLOT CONSTRUCTION DUED TO MY NEED FOR PERFECTION}

Echochannel Echochannel Mar 14
Man,your amazing!!!!! You described every single freaking feeling and intentions that made me live in it.
v_silva v_silva Nov 30, 2016
- A comma should be added after "ideal". 
                              
                              - Shown should be corrected to "showed". 
                              
                              - "Through her eyes" could be rephrased to "[within] her eyes".
v_silva v_silva Nov 30, 2016
Does "alarming" indicate that Marlowe perceives her as alarming, or is SHE alarmed? If the latter, I suggest to change "alarming" to "alarmed".
NekodaDotR NekodaDotR Dec 21, 2016
I'm shocked Right now! I can't look for the word but it's that 😂
v_silva v_silva Nov 30, 2016
Mind some tenses:
                              
                              - "... the trigger [was] pulled..."
                              
                              - "... he'[d] done it before..."
v_silva v_silva Nov 30, 2016
Tenses:
                              
                              - "... blood [splattered]..."
                              - "... he [dropped]..."
                              - "...gravitiy [kissed]..."