Someday Never Comes (manxman)

Someday Never Comes (manxman)

25.3K Reads 995 Votes 19 Part Story
J.L. Loy By JLR_Loy Updated Apr 01

An amorous (possibly Norwegian) ski instructor, a tourist trap brochure, a stray rock; Christian Wallace isn't sure which one's to blame for landing him in Defiance, Colorado, population 453 and in turn, at what might just be the world's shittiest bar.
Disillusioned with the police force after thirteen years on the job and a disastrous case, all Christian wanted was to get clear of Seattle and the familiar faces that went with it. He hadn't set out looking for a job, especially not one that came with a cranky boss that couldn't remember his name, a pair of warring siblings and a falling down hotel. Oh yeah, and every Woodstock reject west of the Mississippi. But then life and love, work in mystifying ways.


-Updated once weekly on Fridays-

So, that was an amazing start to the story! You set it up with a great hook, what with the car at the edge of that cliff, and the ending is also perfect. However, I'd suggest looking over your syntax a bit- it can get monotonous and choppy at times.
Twoony Twoony Feb 20
What a way to start a story...I stared wide-eyed as I read because, wow. That was incredibly detailed to the point that, for a moment, I didn't think I was reading. I actually saw it like a movie in my head. It was a great way to start the story, very original and well done!
- - Feb 29
I've never seen such a detailed and captivating prologue. Way to begin a story author. Well done!  U actually painted the picture in my head. Brilliant!
sanmariano sanmariano Feb 22
I agree with the dude below. At times the commas and phrases make it choppy reading. Otherwise, very good!
manethan manethan Aug 24
I really enjoyed this,I'm looking forward to the rest.
                              I found it easy to read and who cares about grammar and mistakes as long as it makes sense and you can understand it is that matters to a reader! Nice work 👍😉❤️
I have to say I'm very impressed with your work. Your writing style is very on-point; your word choices are all perfect, your descriptions are very vivid and with the way you've set this up, I feel like I'm actually watching a movie.
                              
                              I can tell you put a lot of effort into this; I really love it.