NoBody Knows (BoyxBoy)
Dear Mom, Dad and Lei,
Nobody knows what exactly happened that night. The night I lost everything. The night I had lost the will to live.
I have been just passing time until I die. I need those moments to be now - right as I finish writing this. When I die, I will be thinking of you three, all of the amazing moments we have had together - I only hope that I don't survive this. Because I know for a fact that you don't want me in your lives - I'm impure, disgusting, foul, and worthless.
And as for you Lei,I don't feel like your brother anymore - I am no longer the brother you would do anything for. You would sell me for a hundred bucks if you had the opportunity. You remember when we snuck out to go to your girlfriends house and you broke your arm from trying to crawl out of the window all by yourself? You remember screamed at how how bad it hurt and I told you everything was going to be okay and I would make up so dipshit lie so you wouldn't get in trouble? You remember how I was grounded for two months because I said that i got really mad and pushed you out the open window? And you never even said thank you. You said it was my fault. That was the night after all of you had found out. Mom and dad yelled at me for hours about really thought about me.
The second that you guys had found out - you hated me, you thought i could be fixed. I can't. I have tried doing that. I've tried to deny it, i've tried to not think, I've tried living lies. And i did it all for you guys.
I simply can't do it any more. I can't be you're straight son. I have already failed you guys completely, my existence is a failure.
You don't want me... You never have.
-Love, Sam Shepard... You're gay son and Brother.