Academy of Secrets (original version)

Academy of Secrets (original version)

15.2K Reads 526 Votes 29 Part Story
theflores By theflores Completed

ORIGINAL DRAFT OF STORY some sections may be off due to erratic editing. Sorry if there's any confusion.

*PG-13 for language and violence!*

Six. Six aspects of energy. Six humans to host them. Fourteen-year-old Allison Trenbalm is one of these six special humans. In the year 2295, a world of alien immigration, advanced technology, and a new world government, she is whisked away to the Academy for the Regulars and All Those Otherwise as a result of this energy. With adjusting to academy life, learning to control her power, a creature roaming the station, and the impending opening of the Havoc Rift, Allison and these other special humans have a lot on their plate. Six humans must control their power. Six humans must close the rift.

  • abilities
  • academy
  • advanced
  • aliens
  • cities
  • cyborgs
  • energy
  • extra-terrestrials
  • fantasy
  • future
  • futuristic
  • havoc
  • humor
  • powers
  • rift
  • robots
  • spaceships
  • technology
  • teens
Magnesia_W Magnesia_W Nov 29, 2013
Interesting start. I suppose the way you have created the 'world' is the best aspect of the story and i suppose must have been the hardest too. Also, you have managed to maintain the consistency and flow throughout this chapter. So overall, great work! Voted :)
                              
                              MidnightCupOfNoodles
obsessedforever obsessedforever Nov 03, 2013
Woah when I read this it totally transported me into a different dimension. Is this your first story because it is awsome
jcburnham jcburnham Oct 27, 2013
Intriguing. You do a great job of creating that "other-world" feel.
maddie131 maddie131 Oct 27, 2013
This is such a great start! I love the description and I know that I will keep reading. Silent readers are insanely stupid, especially when it comes to a story like this. You're doing great!
Shazza1999 Shazza1999 Oct 04, 2013
This is so good! Reminds me of "I am number 4" by pittacus lore, I recommend people read that and watch the movie if they like this genre of writing. Overall great start but I agree with @DiverseFiction, about the wordy thing in the first paragraph, but it's gotten me hooked already ;)
JannaPervaiz JannaPervaiz Sep 28, 2013
Sorry I'm just reading this now, but I really should have done so earlier! This story is so unique and soooo much has happened in the first two pages i just have to keep going! A few grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing serious. 
                              Keep going!!
                              Ps. That's a vote and a follow from me!!