Doesn't this (amazingly awesome) description make you want to read this story? If not...I suggest therapy. Lots and lots of therapy. Maybe mix a few hobo rants in between the therapy sessions. Unless you're afraid of hobos....but if that's the case you definitely need more help than just plain old therapy, shock therapy for example. Yep...hobos are pretty awesome. Not quite as awesome as me but then again, what is? Anyway, like I said...if this doesn't make you want to read this story you're probably a psychopath (not the murdering kind, hopefully) and you'll be needing to get that checked out. And if you're doing that I can understand if you don't have much time to read stories...so, good luck with your psychological problems. I hope everything works out for you.