20.7K Reads 2.3K Votes 8 Part Story
poltergeist_people By poltergeist_people Updated Mar 21

Earth, meet Zee.

Zee meet Earth. 

When an alien girl crashes right into the back yard of a human man, the world was set to change as they knew it...sort of..kind of..

okay no not really, every orange alien crashing onto earth does that.

But Keiran Jay, a computer hacker known as 'Jay Bird', his world on the other hand. is never going to be the same again.

Not when he has a very hands on X'sonian warrior following him around and drinking all his beer.


"...What the fuck is this?"

The weird ass orange chick froze half of the beer bottle stuffed into her mouth, "mmmmm!"

I blinked. "Are you seriously drinking my beer?!"

She pulled the bottle from her lips and flipped up from the ground, grinning ear to ear, "Zee!"

I stared blankly at it. "Alright whatever, you cannot drink my beer, that my beer. as in I bought it. I need it to get drunk, you do not need it to practice perfecting the blow job."

She blinked at me with her bright green eyes, head cocking to the side.

Then she reached into my fridge, pulled out another one of my beers and popped the cap with her fang, letting out a tiny giggle before downing the whole thing in one go.

I glared at her, "Okay thats it, i'm shoving you in a crate and shipping your ass to area fifty-one."

She hissed at me.

She fucking hissed at me.

JayLilia JayLilia Mar 31
Me when i wake to my drunk sister tripin over her own feet 👌👌
Based on a true story
                              *me during school*
                              Teacher: Class we have a test-
                              *starts hissing and pushes test of desk*
cumpassed cumpassed Aug 26
The first thought in his head when he thinks someone is dead is too bury the body 😂😑
Dark_Sakura Dark_Sakura Mar 29
I keep a frying pan in my closet....my baby is my weapon.....I've broken heads before with it and I'll keep going
Dark_Sakura Dark_Sakura Mar 29
After watching 24 hours of anime and my mom comes in opening the blinds. I always react the same,"MY EYES!!!!! MY SWEET VIRGIN EYES!!!!! DAMN YOU WOMAN DO YOU WANT ME DEAD THAT MUCH!!! GO TO BLOODY HELL!!! *hisses at her scratching her*"
*during mornings*
                              Mum; Sam, wake up. You have school.
                              Me: *hisses*