Immortal Love

Immortal Love

97.7K Reads 4.9K Votes 64 Part Story
Abby●◇● By abbs_4234 Completed

| HIGHEST RANK: #56 in Vampire on 
2/14/17 |

She was the girl everyone loved. She was also the girl everyone wished to be. 

But everyone has their secrets and dark pasts. Those secrets will die with her when she completely disappears from the human world. 

Lesson number one: Never walk alone on the dark side of Chicago. 

As if being attacked by a group of raging vampires wasn't enough, she gets thrown into the world of fangs and blood itself as she faces being a newborn. 

Not to mention being a newborn of an infuriatingly hot, sadistic, and arrogant vampire master. 

He was the mystery she couldn't solve. He was dark and cruel, but those were just the top layers of the sadistic vampire. 

And she was going to find the real him even if it meant dying again. 

Lesson number two: Try not to fall for a vampire master named Theo. 

Sink your fangs in and get a feel of the vampire world. 

Will anyone make it out alive? 

Well, I guess we will have to find out,

But don't forget;

Lesson number three: Love bites.

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xFakingaSmilex xFakingaSmilex Aug 02, 2017
I don't think you need to have "red eyes" since you established this before. You also have a lot of other descriptions which drags the sentence out, making it hard to read.
xFakingaSmilex xFakingaSmilex Aug 02, 2017
I'm sorry, but nothing could make me walk down there. I value my life.
xFakingaSmilex xFakingaSmilex Aug 02, 2017
"And I felt like being murdered" is missing from this line haha
NamjoonMyBias909 NamjoonMyBias909 Jun 29, 2017
For a second I thought that was Derek from teen wolf I don't know why
xFakingaSmilex xFakingaSmilex Aug 02, 2017
I'd suggest finding another word to describe the rain because you've used "pelts" a few times now.
Natsna Natsna Jul 05, 2017
Can she be the main character? Like I find her more attractive