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Pen Your Pride
I Hate You. So Why Am I Pregnant With Your Child?

I Hate You. So Why Am I Pregnant With Your Child?

12.8K Reads 199 Votes 8 Part Story
Tatti3 By Tatti3 Updated Oct 28, 2011

not good w/ desriptions. so just read it please. the title says it all!

LilyAvenue LilyAvenue Oct 27, 2011
This is neat. Realistic. Easy to relate to. I like the chapter titles, original :) Keep doing what you do, it's going well <3
xsuckerforlovex xsuckerforlovex Oct 19, 2011
The plot and the hatred was very well expressed, especially when Miranda was talking about how she wouldn't save Romeo if he was on fire. That part really cracked me up. Try to work a bit on descriptions, because I had trouble imagining the setting and how the characters looked.
yme123 yme123 Oct 16, 2011
Gotta say nice rant and the beginning :D You characters are great but you could do with a bit more description in your story. Good though
MarineLynn MarineLynn Oct 16, 2011
Not much details. Your paragraphs are skimpy. Add more fluff. If your story is like a teddy bear, then everyone will be attracted to it(: 
                              You're not in the right tense. In one paragraph you're in past, the other is present. 
                              Work on that and fix the verbs. 
                              Hope that helps.
BonnieWitch BonnieWitch Oct 10, 2011
hahaha this is cool it sounds so real aswell apart from the names but they dont bother me :D
ravenclaw17 ravenclaw17 Oct 04, 2011
It's a good chapter, kinda short and could use a tad more description, otherwise good :)