"This reminded me a happy time." I stare at it for what seems like years. Fucking tears betray me. They brim my eyes, threatening to fall. I roughly rub them willing them to go back down... I really fucked up! There is a gaping hole in my soul; something clawing at me inside. What is that pain I have never experienced? It's is as if part of me is dying all over again. I can go over to Anastasia's and beg her forgiveness. How do I live with this pain? Like my fucking heart grows all over again for that torturous lion to consume. I've lost my purpose in life... Its a fanfiction based on fifty shades darker but in Christian Grey's Point Of View. I Dont Own The Fifty Shades Trilogy Or Characters. All Rights Go To EL James and Emine Fougner who created this version of the book!