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The Girl in the Window | The 2017 Awards

The Girl in the Window | The 2017 Awards

49.7K Reads 3K Votes 15 Part Story
Emilee Harvey By uzuriupendo Completed

Athena Pierce loves to explore old abandoned buildings, so when she gets a chance to check out the abandoned Sarton Asylum she takes it. What she doesn't know is that a little girl name Effie Richmond still lives there with a horrible past and secret.
  Amazing cover by PiratesandWizards

Your concept for the story sounds interesting and a bit different from the rest of the stories on here. I do think that you can work a bit on the flow of the dialogue and the way that you are describing everything that is taking place, but overall it is a good start!
-astraeus- -astraeus- Jan 10
I love it so far but a few places were a bit...drawn out even though it was only a simple action.
                              Still, overall it was a good chapter.
Breaking_bad87 Breaking_bad87 Oct 27, 2016
The "how are you" is too common. Used almost everyday. Would be good enough as "Mr. Schneider?"
Jacklyn Jacklyn Feb 27
That would be a clue for me NOT to want to go. I hate anything haunted and believe in spirits
seriously though, y do dogs always die in horror stuff? 😯
Oh my god I'm so dumb at first I thought it said satan wrap, I was so confused