Chaos Theory

Chaos Theory

80K Reads 4.5K Votes 38 Part Story
『 frey 』 By comets- Updated Apr 25

❝ Be what they want you to be. ❞  

SF15 ( 04.22.16.)

B-U-T-FUL B-U-T-FUL Jul 25
Great hook😊 but you should change the word will to would because its a word used for pass tense as is the word Knew which is already in the sentence.😁
Wait, that means her mum was 20 when she left. How old was Perrie (think that is her name) and how old was her mum and dad when she was born then?
NHeartless NHeartless Jun 17
Very interesting concept! 😆 I think maybe an unknown symbol yet to be discovered? Or also another murder symbol?
drtardisong drtardisong Jan 13
instead of unlock, reveal (or insert some other synonym) might be better tbh.
moiroiroira moiroiroira Jun 18, 2016
I really like it, but I think I should warn: the action is written in past tense, while the description is written in present. I know it doesn't seem like it matters but it would flow better is it was all in past. Other than that though, I really like the setting though!
fluttr fluttr Jun 24, 2016
i like this story but i think this chapter seems to move a bit fast, so in the future take some time to develop the setting. pierre goes from the truck to the building to finding out her mark pretty quickly. still a great story though!