Falling in love? No thanks!

Falling in love? No thanks!

9.1K Reads 158 Votes 15 Part Story
Jesme By lovedamienandderrek Updated Feb 11, 2012

New boy Matt is everything a girl wants in a guy, rich, popular, super good looking, kind, caring, sweet and hes got a whole bunch of friends and family to help him out. But when he starts falling in love is it what he really wants? a story of a boy and the fear he has of hurting his one true love

  • andy
  • australia
  • bad
  • boy
  • drama
  • falling
  • fiction
  • girl
  • heart
  • highschool
  • hot
  • humour
  • hurt
  • james
  • lara
  • love
  • matt
  • new
  • part
  • player
  • pool
  • rich
  • spa
  • story
  • surfer
  • tash
  • teen
  • thanks
  • tub
lovedamienandderrek lovedamienandderrek Jul 06, 2011
@KamikazeKid  i think right now, you have made my day, thankyou so much :D you dont understand how much it means to me, i was thinking of not even writing anymore after i posted this first part :/
KamikazeKid KamikazeKid Jul 06, 2011
I see a lot of people saying some pretty negative things about the story but listen, this is good. You can tell in your writing that you have a lot of passion and that is most important in a writer. If you like it then keep it that way. Great job!
MidnightStarz MidnightStarz Jul 06, 2011
You need to edit your story a bit more and the dialogue is a bit rough. If you check it thoroughly, I'm sure the story would be great 
tianajade tianajade Feb 24, 2011
A good start. Your dialogue needs a bit of work, though. A few grammar errors here and there, as well. Nice storyline, though! Overall, good work, and keep writing!
achat1992 achat1992 Jan 16, 2011
Good start. Be careful with punctuation, it can add a lot to your story by avoiding huge run on sentences that look like paragraphs :P
painismydrug painismydrug Jan 14, 2011
Your story is off to a great start. Reading on. But i have to agree with the others, too many details. You could chip then in throughout the course of your story, not all at once. :)