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The Bad Boy Kissed Me

The Bad Boy Kissed Me

26.2K Reads 959 Votes 21 Part Story
Lola By caraandnat Updated Jul 11

My name is Riley Thomson . I'm 16 years old and just your typical high school wall flower. That was until the schools bad boy ( kian Johnston ) pinned me against the wall and kissed me.

sparklingawintage sparklingawintage Jul 27, 2016
Nice flow. Just one or two typos. What does Amy, her mom and Kian look like? Or do we find that out later. If not I would recommend putting those suggestions in.
sparklingawintage sparklingawintage Jul 27, 2016
Why does she hate Kian so much? Does it go deeper than just him being a jerk? Try to use synonyms of the word "pinned" it makes your writing sound better.
sparklingawintage sparklingawintage Jul 27, 2016
punctuation needs to be checked. Your paragraphs and indentions fluctuate quite a lot. But it gets better with each chapter