Your name is Sollux Captor. You are rude, easily annoyed, and when you speak you mangle words with your lisp. You code programs to annoy your friend and get migraines that feel as if God himself has ripped into your skull. You are uncomfortable around people, and you're shit in relationships. Yet somehow, you found yourself tangled up in one with the biggest asshole on the planet. You rather like this.
Your name is Eridan Ampora. You are judgemental, privileged, and trip overs the letters v and w. You desperately search for a stable relationship, only to find heartbreak waiting around every corner. You have no people skills, and are absolutely certain that true love is some made up fairy tale that doesn't exist. But when one smartass shoves his way into your life, you realize that maybe you were wrong about true love.