I am Fallon Riddle, Voldemort's Daughter

I am Fallon Riddle, Voldemort's Daughter

25 Part Story 30K Reads 861 Votes
ThestralQueen By TabithaPaigee Updated Jan 03

Hey all, this is my first fanfic! I hope you like this story of mine and rather simply, ENJOY xo
    
    Prologue
    
    I was never like them, like the others. I didn't choose the life that was handed to me, I never thought my life would turn out the way it did. I never thought or questioned whether what I was doing was right or wrong, I only knew what I had been trained to do. I had to obey every order, every instruction down to the finest detail. If I didn't do as I was told, my head would be the next on the chopping block. I never had a choice, even if my mind was somewhat my own and not within their every control. 
    
    I never shed a tear where they could see it, for I had to show no emotion, other than the urge to kill. To them it was a weakness to cry. I had to prove I was not weak, I promised myseld I would never be weak for anyone else again. Instead, the only tears I dealt with were those of my numerous victims. They cried as they pleaded and begged, hoping I would not take away their lives,...

This was well written, but I did notice a few commas placed in the wrong places. Other than that, I think you did a great job with creating tension here, good job :)
StylesRule StylesRule Jan 04, 2016 01:49AM
It's the prologue a lot of people don't so don't fret. We're in the Potter world now, it's bound to get a heck of a lot more interesting ;)
sophiepettrova sophiepettrova Oct 25, 2015 04:50PM
Omg this is sooo amazing! Its captured my attention right away...hands down the best prolouge I have read all week! Xoxo
Omg this is so interesting you captured my attention right away
TabithaPaigee TabithaPaigee Nov 01, 2013 02:03PM
Thankyou, and I'll be sure to go through it and fix those errors :)
xKiraAdamsx xKiraAdamsx Oct 31, 2013 02:39PM
I enjoy your writing style and flow. A couple of things I noticed:
                                    
                                    'I never for a thought' should be 'I never for a second,'
                                    
                                    'the only tears that i have to [deal] with...'