I Won't Tell if You Don't

I Won't Tell if You Don't

4 Part Story 861 Reads 30 Votes
Ro-Ro-A By Ro-Ro-A Updated Nov 24, 2011 07:53AM

Daphne Woods wasn't popular but when she finally gets the chance that she's always wanted will she take it? and what will it cost her?

cupcakesss cupcakesss Jul 09, 2012 09:45PM
good girl :)- its good at the moment - but I bet it could be GREAT! :)
It's good. But you should rephrase those plain sentences. Use descriptive details to really hook your readers.
HanaeKohana HanaeKohana Aug 31, 2011 08:46AM
AWESOME STORY! i love it! oted all chapters, and became your fan^^
It's a great start, I liked how you used a diary introduction but it gets a little confusing when you go from Diary start to third person of one character's pov to anothers. other then that it's a great effort and read. : )
Please capitalize your I's (i) and add more details. It makes your story a lot better. I thought this had potential to become a really great story, so just edit it and add some details, fix your grammar, and make it longer. Pretty decent start :)
Well, this is a great beginning. A firm plot and good description. Though I'd put a bit less Point of Views. Anyways, I really enjoyed reading this, so i voted fanned and liked (I was the first like!) Keep writing! =D