I Won't Tell if You Don't

4 Part Story 860 Reads 30 Votes
Ro-Ro-A By Ro-Ro-A Updated 4 years ago
Daphne Woods wasn't popular but when she finally gets the chance that she's always wanted will she take it? and what will it cost her?
good girl :)- its good at the moment - but I bet it could be GREAT! :)
It's good. But you should rephrase those plain sentences. Use descriptive details to really hook your readers.
AWESOME STORY! i love it! oted all chapters, and became your fan^^
It's a great start, I liked how you used a diary introduction but it gets a little confusing when you go from Diary start to third person of one character's pov to anothers. other then that it's a great effort and read. : )
Please capitalize your I's (i) and add more details. It makes your story a lot better. I thought this had potential to become a really great story, so just edit it and add some details, fix your grammar, and make it longer. Pretty decent start :)
Well, this is a great beginning. A firm plot and good description. Though I'd put a bit less Point of Views. Anyways, I really enjoyed reading this, so i voted fanned and liked (I was the first like!) Keep writing! =D