Anna thought she’d met The One when she was 18 years old, and happily spent 10 years sprinkling cubes of feta cheese into his salad each day. But the domestic bliss that was making a packed lunch for her husband came to an abrupt end when she arrived home from work one evening to find him in bed with a prostitute.
Naturally, she files for divorce and naturally (because her job involves cold-calling people trying to sell them nuts and dried fruits), she’s poor and has to move into a damp flat with dubious heating. Her friends are keen to set her up with a new man who’ll cheer her up and know what he’s doing in bed. Instead, Anna’s seduced by a communal office jumper scented with aftershave, which belongs to a man twice her age.
Her best friend is outraged by her new choice of man, but that might not matter, because God works in mysterious ways, and He drops a gorgeous, very tall vicar named Dominic, into her world; a vicar who believes in the sanctity of marriage and thinks she’s worth more than selling nuts.
If it’s a toss-up between the man from work who’s old enough to be her father, and the divine Dominic, it’s no contest, but – because Anna’s not a Christian – God sees fit to let her fall for a vicar who thinks she’s immoral and wanton. Even if Dominic can get past her iffy relationship with Ancient Andrew, he has strict beliefs that mean a relationship with him will be anything but orgasmic, and an old acquaintance who’ll try anything to be the one to remove his dog collar. If that wasn’t enough, Anna has her own baggage, causing a bit of a meltdown at a supermarket, which not even a kind dentist can smooth over for her.
**Warning: this story contains discussion of stillbirth, adoption, sexual tension, tampons, disaster poos and a poem which is less than complimentary to Slough.**