Annalise (Book 1)

Annalise (Book 1)

53.3K Reads 2.8K Votes 23 Part Story
strangerstale By strangerstale Completed

"I told you to stay away from her," Eric said. "You really should have listened to your parents Cristian." He smirked, "because now you are going to find out what happens to dogs who touch bones that don't belong to them."

"She's not your property," Cristian spat, "Now let her go."

He was answered by Eric's amused laughter and a surprise blow to the stomach. He buckled over with a cough and rose with a growl, as the white of his canines shined in the dark. "Is that all you got?" He sneered. 
☆☆☆

Caught in a fight for her own freedom while honouring the traditions of her people, Annalise struggles to maintain a balance. That balance is taken out of her hands completely, with her forced engagement to the future pack alpha, Eric. 

The idea of her marriage is bad enough, but when her best friend makes his feelings for her known, Annalise will learn that things can get much, much worse in a tale of family drama and dark secrets

Love this title- my sisters name is Anna Liz and it caught my attention 😂
a810022 a810022 Sep 12
My name is Annalise, so it's going to be very weird for me. Just saying
@deathlover48 Thank you for the critique, and detailed honesty. You don't know how much this helps.
Always, and I repeat, always capitalize the starting of dialogues. It's a minor error but will annoy everyone. Also, when you change the speaker of the dialogue, change the paragraph. It gives more cleanliness to the story :)
Dialogue. Dialogue is a hard, but extremely important part of writing. Anna's words sound extremely formal here, contrasting with the modern, laid back personality of Cristian. Reading out your dialogues, or trying to say them like your character would helps in maintaining consistency.
The use of the word intentionally doesn't fit in here. I feel that a better word would be intently or intensely.