something for those closet pervs;) very dirty and graphic so please don't read or hate if you think its wrong. if you don't like it read something else :p
the grammar doesn't matter now...what matters is that i like this short story... :D
I think it's okay. Take this as constructive criticism and not as an attack. But I think that you can improve this a lot. I think its vague and it could have a lot of more detail and feeling put into it.
I think it is quite good, very descriptive. And some people need to know about this kinda stuff, it's gonna happen eventually.
My excuse for reading this: The cover for the book was fire. And fire is heat. And I use heat to properly eat my food. And thats why I read this book :3
@PrincessKnight15 LOL, am I attacking the author? Telling her that she shouldn't write? I have a right to comment just like everybody else does. If I were you, I would mind your own business. If I didn't find this entertaining, then so be it. What's it to you?
@iluvtoread9010 That's not very nice you know. I don't see you writing anything better. This author has created a scene that you probably couldn't top in your life. So why don't you just back of and let them write.