Sometimes arranged marriages are difficult but mine, is just my arranged marriage. Can you and your husband like each other or just say "I don't" at your wedding, find out in "My Arranged Marriage"
Now I'm so confused........ Can't understand who is Bella,jewel and you!!!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!!???
again with the point of view change....and please put quotation marks when one of your characters is saying something!
Great story though.. but confused.. bella, jewel..? You showed zach around the house... who is you?
Good advice - watch what point of view you are using when writing the story...different point of view makes the reader confused!
I cant understand if this 1st person or 3rd??? Sooo confused!!!!! O_o
Good start but you must not reread the chapter but it is good