The Red Mark

The Red Mark

923 Reads 69 Votes 10 Part Story
Creator of Worlds By jitsuboy2003 Completed

This world has become an eradicated wasteland, it got destroyed by a disease called "The red mark", called that because anyone that gets infected seems to get a huge red cross down the center of their body. This disease seems to make them very aggressive and much stronger over the stages of turning. Arron, a 15 year old boy with long brown hair, green eyes, and a thin physique, must survive on his own through thick and thin in this book.

Comment if you'd like me to continue this story, I really enjoy making this :D!

  • apocalypse
  • apocalyptic
  • beasts
  • dark
  • disease
  • fiction
  • gore
  • hero
  • horror
  • mark
  • post
  • red
  • science
  • suspenseful
  • teen
  • theredmark
  • wasteland
  • zombie
-MinnieMinx- -MinnieMinx- Jun 10, 2015
I love it xD I think it's the second time I said that. Anyways, the only problem is that you should this into paragraph, which I can help with if needed but besides that; just fix the mistakes I pointed out and it'll be perfect. By the way, why is the character so jumpy? Lol.
-MinnieMinx- -MinnieMinx- Jun 10, 2015
I noticed a closet door (state its location), I walked to it and opened it as I am being careful and aware of surroundings. Inside, I saw a small child, shaking and possibly afraid for her life but before anything could happen; I felt a sharp pain in my chest then I blacked out.
-MinnieMinx- -MinnieMinx- Jun 10, 2015
Where did the noise come from and what was with the light? Could someone have been here but left before I could reach this place, but why?
-MinnieMinx- -MinnieMinx- Jun 10, 2015
Omit this, rather say ...
                              
                              "Then again, no again no one was here and I just stood there feeling like a complete idiot as I ponder on the fact that I may have lost my marbles."
-MinnieMinx- -MinnieMinx- Jun 10, 2015
I gathered all the courage I could muster then barged through the door, swinging wildly at anything that could be lurking in the area.
-MinnieMinx- -MinnieMinx- Jun 10, 2015
Get rid of this and just end the sentence with a period since you had use this word before. Last thing you want is repetition.