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Their Unique Mate #ON HOLD

Their Unique Mate #ON HOLD

35K Reads 933 Votes 10 Part Story
Alphamate By wolfmate1 Updated 3 days ago

(WARNING THIS BOOK IS A BOYXBOYXBOY BOOK IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEN  DON'T READ HATEFUL COMMENT ARE NOT APPRECIATED)
    
    AT THE MOMENT THIS STORY IS ON HOLD TO FAR NOTICE.
    
     Meet Benjamin Cadfael. He is a werewolf but not like the others. He has a power inside himself, that no one knows about, not even him. No one knows that he is the legendary White Wolf that will bring peace and harmony to his endangered pack.
    Jayson Jackson is soon to be the alpha of Red Moon Pack, the largest in California . His beta and best friend, Louis Thomas, is soon to be the beta. They have always talked about finding their mates, but they never expected they would have to share one. What will happen when they meet Benjamin and discover the fate the moon goddess has set for them? 
    
    Cover make by @TAC_AM

hashey000 hashey000 4 days ago
Really Heavy in description in the begining, with brands and everything. Along with a mass introduction of characters. the way you bring upon this with werewolves is pretty unique. hate to see a father son relationship like that. not a big reader in werewolf but this is pretty interesting
FionaJohn FionaJohn Jun 12
I suggest taking the 'that' out. The sentence sounds better without it.
FionaJohn FionaJohn Jun 12
Also, I went through the comment to see if anyone had something similar to what I thought in my head and I believe Pensive-'s comment was the closest. Take note of the purple prose, showing not telling, too many characters for a first chapter. I feel her comment will be very helpful.
- - 6 days ago
 #serenity 
                              
                              HOLLY SHIAAAAT THAT WAS GOOD. 
                              Like I really really really wanna finish this story just from the first chapter but it's on hold type and now I'm mad type of good. 
                              Fudin amazeeeeballllls mate 
                              Your details are also pure and how you got the gay + abuse in here 
                              GAH I LOVE.
FionaJohn FionaJohn Jun 12
Confusing sentence. Missing a question mark and the 'That true' phrase makes the sentence confusing. I'd suggest adding a question mark then a comma after 'that true'. I'd also suggest changing that true to 'Which is true, who will...5'3ft?'
FionaJohn FionaJohn Jun 12
Incomplete sentence. There's no contradiction. You started with Even though which means after a comma, you need a statement to contradict the initial statement.