The Dragon Oracles. Part One: The Call of the Crown. (Sample)

The Dragon Oracles. Part One: The Call of the Crown. (Sample)

1.1M Reads 5.3K Votes 8 Part Story
tjgarrett By tjgarrett Updated Sep 13, 2015

The Dragon Oracles


A continent on the brink of war. A journey to save a kingdom.

Forced onto a path he does not wish to follow, a young man finds himself the focus of ancient powers.

When Gialyn accompanies his father on a dangerous trek across their homeland, he attracts the gaze of an ancient dragon. The dragon offers Gialyn power, but the price may prove too much to bear. Meanwhile, Brea, the Dragon Guardian, has plans of her own. With the power of her dragon charges, she summons an ancient warrior to aid in their cause. But will this powerful being help them, or add itself to their growing list of enemies?

My first impression was that this was an Eragon-inspired thing except the dragons were the one with the huge army and Galbatorix had died instead of the dragon riders.
HaleyRussom HaleyRussom Jun 15
To change it that way you need more sentence after the point
You have a gift for providing detail.  It's never just listing points.  I really like that.
Haroon1313 Haroon1313 Jun 13
U should switch it to and everyone who knew the witch was dead
I really like this first chapter. I'm excited to keep going. I think it has great detail which helps me see the story in my mind.
- - Dec 14, 2015
Imo this is waay too much detail for a first chapter. While readers obviously have to take in new characters, overwhelming them with information about the setting is counterproductive and ruins the attention grabbing aspect.