The Dragon Rider

The Dragon Rider

99.4K Reads 6.7K Votes 52 Part Story
R.E. Lana By rellish Updated Sep 08

Book 1 - Tyris Kingdom Series 
  
  Evan has had to keep his true self hidden ever since the day he discovered he could shift into a dragon. All he ever wanted was to live a normal life with normal friends, but the fear of discovery haunted his every move and his every decision. Slowly he withdrew from the world, trying his best to keep a low profile, all the while struggling with the monster inside him. At 26, he had a routine that worked and he stuck with it, day in and day out. 
  
  Everything changed for him the moment he and Hannah, his best friend, stepped into a small, local bar and came face to face with a mysterious stranger who seemed to know too much about him. 
  
  As brief as this meeting was, something much bigger than any of them could imagine was set into motion. 
  
  When Hannah turns out to be more than she appears and another stranger keeps pulling them out of danger, the four of them come together and set off on an adventure of a lifetime. Their journey takes them through self-discovery, near-death experiences, truths uncovered, love, loyalty, betrayal, and friendship. When the dust finally settles, nothing will ever be the same.

Awww, so this explains why Evan doesn't know anything about this later in the story
Again, awesome hinting at yet another character in your story. You have a lot of things going on in this chapter, and you manage to balance it quite well
I absolutely love this paragraph! Your introductions of each of your characters have been flawless so far, and flow so easily throughout the story.  I would, however, not say the word "much" twice in the last sentence and instead just use it once
I like how you subtly explain how she knows that Evan shifted and what his dragon looks like
I like how you started with describing the setting of this chapter, and the type of adjectives that you decided to use in order to create a really dark, solitary atmosphere. Well done :)
EvelynHail EvelynHail Aug 08
The whole atmosphere of anticipation is wonderfully described; the reader can feel their nervousness as they wait for "her", not knowing exactly who she is yet. The novel seems to be set in a contemporary timeline; I can't wait to see how the elements of fantasy will be incorporated.