Behind The Veil: New Beginnings (#Wattys2016)

Behind The Veil: New Beginnings (#Wattys2016)

25.7K Reads 2.1K Votes 66 Part Story
Reginald Laurenceau By ReginaldLaurenceau Completed

What was thought to be fantasy has now become a reality. A changed world brings pain that must be overcome, as a high school graduate's world is turned upside down, he finds himself in the middle of a battle between two powerful magic orders.
  
Les Brown, who appeared to be a normal 18 year old high school student, has been living with a secret all his life. He can heal people, animals, and even plants with a touch, however, he can also take away life with his touch. As a child growing up, he had to hide his abilities from others.
  
Unfortunately, Les's life takes a drastic turn as he is taken from his regular world and brought to a new world where magic is the norm. He has to learn to adjust to a new society run by Magi with abilities to turn their wands into swords made out of the elements: fire, air, water, and earth. Les becomes part of the struggle to protect the Earth and the magic realms hidden behind the veil.
  
  High Epic Fantasy |  Arcanepunk | New-Adult
  
  Book Cover by @seventhstar
  
This is the first draft, so comments, constructive criticism, and feedback are encouraged and highly appreciated!

PrinceFeral PrinceFeral Sep 06
I'm no expert on writing, but are the "the"s before "Hillman Park" really necessary, I eould think it would flow smoither wothout those the"s. However if I'm wrong in anyway please explain to me, I would like newfound knowledge to come with reasoning as to why it is the way it is.
This is really good, but you switch between past and present tense which is confusing.
Great first chapter, I notice you don't have an Editing team?