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Falling for the Spy (Completed just Editing)

Falling for the Spy (Completed just Editing)

88.7K Reads 2.7K Votes 33 Part Story
XxthewriterxX By XxthewriterxX Updated Jan 12, 2014

"What the hell was that for Mason?" I asked pissed off.     "The jerk was going to kiss you!" He all, but shouted!           "What's wrong with him kissing me?" I asked mad.       "because I want to kiss you."  He yelled.                           Confused by his last statement I gave him a weird look.    "What?"                           Then he did the unexpected....  He moved extremely fast towards me and wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed me.     ************                                                                                                                                                                                                             Avery life had been amazing so far. Her parents and her had a strong family bond, even though it was hard because her mom, dad or both were constantly working. When she was 13 years old her house caught on fire and blew up. Her parents were really freaked out and scared for the safety of their daughter. They ended up deciding to make her live with her grandparents and changed her last name. Now 5 years later in 12th grade strange things start to happen an at that time a new student named Mason moves to town and it feels like he is always watching her!

eggzz00 eggzz00 Jul 03, 2013
Few grammar/spelling errors but pretty good! I love the storyline!
JamieRuiz18 JamieRuiz18 Mar 30, 2013
I like it but I don't it seemed a little clumped, it would make me pause in the middle of a sentence. I like it though i really do so ill continue to read the rest of the story.  Voted :)
MihaelaCalla MihaelaCalla Mar 19, 2013
Good start :) simple and not to revealing and well written. Moving on to next chapter
Th3_RanDomAccOunT Th3_RanDomAccOunT Mar 18, 2013
Really well written! I can see where this plot is leading, and I like it!! :D
                              You have described everything really well. I loved the way you wrote the "Crystal clear blue water".. Even though it was pretty normal (The sentence) it had an amazing ring to it that got me interested.. Well done :)
DannyDeAngelus DannyDeAngelus Feb 22, 2013
This is a very strong start, and I really enjoyed reading it. I love the portrayal of characters and images because it really helped me visualize everything. I really like the flow of your chapter and the details.
KB123456789 KB123456789 Feb 18, 2013
The start really captures the reader's attention, and I love the image, it really helped me imagine the house burning, great job!