high school sex life

high school sex life

37.7K Reads 118 Votes 6 Part Story
friendly57 By friendly57 Completed

        "Ok ,ok " Tianna turned to ariana and said " now truth or dare " then ariana said " dare I choose dare " then Tianna said" I dare you to ask that cute boy Brandon to come over here" ariana said" really are u serious Tianna just cause you have a boyfriend doesn't mean I need one" and Tianna said " oh yeah you do your hott a nice ass and boobs your the whole package " then ariana got her phone and called Brandon but then hung up and she said " wait is he single Tianna I don't want to move onto another girls man that's rude Tianna said " yes he broke up with his gf two weeks ago  he said he liked someone else and Kelly was two much of a goody-goody for him " then ariana said " well ok then I'll call him " then she called Brandon and said " hey Brandon its ariana can u come over I wanna talk to u " he said " I need to talk to u to be their in ten minutes " then she ran to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and brushed her hair she had shorts and a top on he only lived a house away ...

Um can you make the dialog a bit more organized and detailed, please, it's just that I can't read it that well, but I do like your story...
coppertop05 coppertop05 Nov 09, 2015
my advice to you is to use words other then said... i just started reading this and the whole thing sounds like someone telling there friends a text conversation in a he said she said format.
                              
                              try using words like replied, informed, yelled, or dont use as much dialogue :)