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Pen Your Pride
A Hidden Life [On Hold]

A Hidden Life [On Hold]

623 Reads 10 Votes 3 Part Story
Kiwilover17 By Kiwilover17 Updated Dec 09, 2010

Alyssa, a top undercover agent was almost killed on her last mission due to a leaked.  As she was getting ready to dive into an investigation, she received a letter from her past about her parents' disappearance. Coincident much? She decided to ignore the letter and continue her investigation as a kidnapped victim in one of the deadliest drugged dealing companies only to uncover more secrets about her hidden past and a ex-lover. Will her identity be found out? Will she end up like her parents who mysteriously disappeared? Will she ever find her parents?

  • mission
  • mystery
  • school
  • spy
  • suspence
  • teen
  • undercover
Amber89 Amber89 Dec 14, 2010
I think is good. Make it interesting easy to read. I like it nd it seems to be very original. Keep going!
always_a_dreamer always_a_dreamer Dec 08, 2010
I liked the whole join us and we'll tell you about your parents thing. It put a twist on the whole plot and it was, on the whole, well executed. The grammar was good. Good chapter. Well done!!!!!!
Kiwilover17 Kiwilover17 Dec 08, 2010
@always_a_dreamer So more descriptive words. Did you catch any grammar mistakes? Should I make the sentence structures more interesting?
always_a_dreamer always_a_dreamer Dec 08, 2010
Well it's a good plot first of all. The grammar is alright but you need to use more describing words. All round though it is very good chapter.
Kiwilover17 Kiwilover17 May 16, 2010
@cuttiegurl Thank you so much for being the first person to comment!