Perception

Perception

114K Reads 10.9K Votes 99 Part Story
LE Hammock By je11ybean262 Completed

Shortly after Homecoming, Sang is forced to face just how much her Academy family has been keeping from her. The boys don't feel too guilty when they learn there's more to their little bird than they could possibly imagine. She will just have to show them just what a girl can do!

I do not own the rights to the CL Stone Academy series, the characters, or any of the products or promotional events thereof. This is a fan fiction, and I do not receive any monetary gain.

Cover art contributed by the talented LeannePS3.

SaltWaterInk SaltWaterInk Oct 12, 2015
Overall not bad but there are some things you could definitely change and improve upon it :)
SaltWaterInk SaltWaterInk Oct 12, 2015
this paragraph is a little choppy but not hard to understand
SaltWaterInk SaltWaterInk Oct 12, 2015
this is good. :) this is the usual form of dialogue. words and a few descriptive prompts to go with it
SaltWaterInk SaltWaterInk Oct 12, 2015
You've got a tense issue. it goes from past to present a lot
SaltWaterInk SaltWaterInk Oct 12, 2015
again this could have ended here, and should have. this would have been a nice spot to describe north and how he looked as he approached
SaltWaterInk SaltWaterInk Oct 12, 2015
You've got a few run ons but that's okay. they aren't terrible