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Pen Your Pride
~Twin Sisters~

~Twin Sisters~

98.9K Reads 2.3K Votes 29 Part Story
KS By kiki_kom Completed

Ema Hinata now Asahina,was living with her 13 brothers. One week before her father and Miwa-san's wedding, Ema receive letter that will change their lives.
Let's just say another round of brothers jealousy and envy will spin Asahina household.
Read and find out what will happen. I'm not good at descriptions.

  • azusa
  • brothersconflict
  • ema
  • futo
  • hikaru
  • iori
  • kaname
  • louis
  • masaomi
  • natsume
  • romance
  • subaru
  • tsubaki
  • ukyo
  • wataru
  • yusuke
I’m like getting triggered one I is capitalized then the over is lower case, also you should try using quotation marks “That indicates a person is speaking”
This sentence is a bit weird.I think you should type 'Ema went home earlier than Yusuke since he had (What type:soccer,basketball,etc.)practice/training.Masaomi-san was holding some letters and put them inside the mailboxes outside the post office.' Better yes?😊
How can Ema adopt a child who is the same age as herself ??!!
Pastelz2Pastelz Pastelz2Pastelz Aug 03, 2016
The story is progressing well, but your use of conjunctions and prepositional words is lacking therefore making the flow of the story choppy and confusing.....
Pastelz2Pastelz Pastelz2Pastelz Aug 03, 2016
In addition, there are plot holes which make the story confusing and hard to follow.....
PeachuMilk PeachuMilk Dec 12, 2016
For her nickname spelling u should put 'Angie' it sounds cuter that way. But of course that's just my opinion u don't have to do it if you don't want to