Safety Dan

Safety Dan

16 Reads 0 Votes 1 Part Story
SRLever By SRLever Updated Jan 05, 2013

Safety Dan awoke to find himself hanging by the plastic yellow rope he used to keep the ladder tied to his white rapist van. Now, Safety Dan was not a rapist by any means, all the women he has slept with consented to it. In fact, he habitually asked each one, every time, before doing the deed. This, in a way, makes him the opposite of a rapist. His large white work van happened to be one of those white ones you tend to hear is being used by some disgusting human being in those not-too-sunny newscasts. Except his was complete with ladders.

He was suspended facedown six feet above the grass in some sort of harness, his hands and feet bound together by the rest of the rope. All Safety Dan could think was, Now I'll have to get some more damn rope and who is the masochistic son of a bitch who stole my rope and tied me with it. The small clearing was fringed with pine trees, a fire with a fire pit and a dirt path leading up to a long cabin. Completing the panorama was a grinning filthy face...

  • comedy
  • dan
  • electr
  • humour
  • lumberjack
  • rapist
  • rope
  • safety
  • stan
  • twist
  • van
  • work
  • yellow